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Slim Down Cause a Split-Up? Sex and Weight Loss

Misty Morgan and her husband were 2 years into a loving, supportive marriage. But between the sheets, things were grinding to a halt. Their sexual setback? Her weight.

“At nearly 400 pounds, not many positions were comfortable,” she says. “Sex was kind of a chore.”

Morgan had weight loss surgery and shed 212 pounds in 3 years. As the number on the scale has gone down, things in the bedroom have heated up.

“Now sex is more adventurous. I can do anything!” she says.

And the emotional connection she has with her husband is stronger because of her weight loss journey.

“He was really there for me through it all,” she says. “It brought us together in a way I never imagined. Having that bond strengthened our marriage.”

Morgan and her husband got their groove back. But not all couples get lucky that way.

Mind and Body, a Balancing Act

There can be roadblocks when making love in a too-big body. It can be hard to move around during sex, as Morgan found. Or, if you’re an obese man, you’re more likely to have erectile dysfunction. Feeling unsexy is common when you’re heavy, too.

Shedding extra pounds can be a good first step toward solving your sex problems. But it isn’t a cure-all for bedroom blahs.

“When we lose weight, it doesn’t really change our self-esteem, or how we deal with people,” says Coral Arvon, PhD, a behavioral and couples therapist. “It’s like shedding a skin — it doesn’t change the person we are inside.”

And if you weren’t into sex before you gained weight, your sex drive will likely still be low after you lose it, Arvon says.

It’s also tempting to think that slimming down will boost your confidence in your body. But things might not look like you expect after the weight is gone.

“Someone who loses a lot of weight after surgery can be left with loose, hanging skin,” says Stephanie Sogg, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at Harvard. “This can really affect their body image quite negatively. Any time you don’t feel good about your body it affects your desire to have sex.”

It’s not an entirely new idea. The FDA first approved a gastric balloon in 1985. But the endoscopically implanted device appears to have lost out to a more aggressively marketed and vigorously embraced means of weight-loss, the gastric band.

You can read the Rest of this article on Web MD here: